


Baking Me Crazy

by Desbelleschoses



Series: Roomates from Hell [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Bake Sale, Gen, illegal substances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-03 18:37:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12753891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Desbelleschoses/pseuds/Desbelleschoses
Summary: The art honor society is hosting a bake sale to raise money to build a new studio. Sasori and Deidara volunteer, and Hidan graciously agrees to make some baked goods. College AU.





	Baking Me Crazy

“Dammit, Dr. Reyes is going to have my ass if I’m late!” Deidara shouted, haphazardly stuffing his backpack with his textbooks and notepads. “Okay, Art History, check. Intro to Critique, check,” he mumbled to himself before zipping up his bag. His hand slid down the wall to turn of his light, and he rushed out of his bedroom. “Hidan, did you-”

“Here you go,” Hidan shoved a Tupperware container full of brownies into Deidara’s hands. “Don’t be pissed if they taste like dirt. I bought the cheapest mix they had.”

“Thank you,” Deidara sighed, meaning every word. “You’re a fucking lifesaver, hn.” He tucked the container under his arm and rushed out the front door. “Later!”

“Make good choices!” Hidan called after him, chuckling at his own joke. He shut the door and could hear the rev of Deidara’s motorcycle as it pulled out of their gravel lot. Inhaling deeply, his mouth watered at the smell of fresh brownies. The ones he told Deidara he’d make for his stupid bake sale were crap; the ones he made for himself, well, that was another story.

Deidara drove faster than he should have down the blocky, gridded streets of his college town. By the grace of whatever god there was, he found an open spot at the front of the lot in the motorcycle parking area. Bless whichever faculty member recommended changing the first three spots into motorcycle-sized spaces. He threw his helmet in the bag and grabbed the container of brownies Hidan had given him.

Putting his life in fate’s hands, he rushed across the street without looking, making a bee line for the fountain. It was situated between several campus buildings, and it was a prime location for clubs to set up tables. The one closest to the library had a painted banner that Sasori had made to advertise the bake sale that the studio art department was having. They needed funds for a new studio; there simply wasn’t enough room in the one they had for all of the students.

Panting, Deidara set the Tupperware onto the plastic table with a thump before putting his hands on his knees. The clock tower read 11:44. Oh, thank god. He used the arm of his hoodie to wipe the sweat from his brow.

Two folding chairs sat behind the table, and a large bag full of plastic containers sat in one of them. Deidara walked around the table and began to dig through it, recognizing Konan’s famous pound cake. He opened the lid and inhaled. Bless that woman. Several boxes of cookies followed, some homemade, some store-bought. Deidara arranged them all in an eye-catching manner, leaving the paper napkins and plastic utensils for last.

He took a step back to admire his work when he saw Sasori exit the library. He resisted the urge to scowl. So that’s where he’d been. Deidara let his pride swell a bit at the thought that he’d beaten Sasori to the task. “About time you showed up!” Deidara cried mockingly, smirking when he saw the ginger’s eyes narrow.

Sasori didn’t say a word as he approached the table. He set down a to-go cup of coffee he’d purchased from the coffee shop inside the library. It was then that Deidara noticed that he was carrying a second. Sasori looked him straight in the eye, emotionless as he began to tilt the cup sideways. The threat was clear: _behave, or I will pour this out without a second thought_.

“I’m sorry, hn!” Deidara scrambled, waving his hands in front of him. It felt like an eternity before Sasori broke, the corner of his lips twitching ever so slightly before he set the second cup in front of Deidara’s chair. “Asshole,” the blonde grumbled. Sasori pretended not to hear him. Deidara picked up a napkin and grabbed one of Hidan’s brownies. Feeling the look Sasori was giving him, he snapped, “I haven’t eaten yet, okay? I brought ‘em, hn!”

“Fine, fine.” Sasori sipped his coffee and looked up at the sky. It was nice for November. The air was crisp, but not cold, and the sky wasn’t overcast. He considered that a win. Thoughtlessly, he rocked his chair back on two legs.

“Fuck me, that’s good,” Deidara spoke with his mouth full.

“Language. We’re representing the department.”

“Try one, hn.” Deidara forced a brownie into Sasori’s hands, ignoring his comment.

Sasori eyed it with suspicion, but when he saw that Deidara had finished his own, he decided that they probably weren’t laced with laxatives. Maybe. Hopefully. He took a bite and raised his eyebrows. Wow, that was pretty good. “Who knew you could bake?” he quipped before taking another bite.

“Me? Nah, Hidan made those.” Sasori nearly choked. It took Deidara three good slaps to get him coughing.

“What did he do to them?” The redhead rasped, soothing his throat with coffee.

“Nothing, hn. Just made ‘em taste good.”

Before Sasori could argue, a group of sorority girls approached their table and bought several snacks. This earned them a few glares from one of the fraternities, who had a table nearby.

Deidara smirked to himself. “Someone’s pissed,” he laughed, looking over at Sasori. “They didn’t have a chance. Who would you rather by sweets from, hn? John Cena or Oscar Wilde?”

Sasori held up his hand. “First of all, you have no right to compare yourself to Oscar Wilde. _No one_ has that right. For you, I’d go with Dorian Gray at best. You know, at the end of the book.”

“Rude.”

“Secondly, no one bought your brownies. They all bought Konan’s treats.”

“Again, rude.” Deidara took another brownie out of the box for himself and handed one to Sasori. “Shut up and eat it. If I’m going down, you’re going down with me.”

Ignoring the brownie, Sasori took a chocolate chip cookie and opened the lid of his coffee. He dunked the cookie in as though it were milk. For once, Deidara was speechless; Sasori savored the moment. He tapped his cookie on the rim of his cup and took a bite, trying not to laugh at the strangled sound Deidara made.

“You can’t do that, hn!”

Sasori looked him in the eye and dunked the cookie a second time.

“No! That’s not right! You’re putting a cookie in _black coffee_! Why not just dunk it in water?! Just have yourself a shitty, soggy, pathetic cookie.”

“Calm down, diva. You’re going to give yourself a stroke.”

Deidara angrily shoved a piece of brownie into his mouth. “Heathen.”

“Careful. Hidan’s having an influence on you.”

Deidara felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and grumbled, “Speak of the devil…” before swiping his finger across the screen. “What?” he barked into the microphone.

“Dude,” Hidan’s voice said from the other end of the line. “ _Please_ tell me you haven’t sold any brownies.”

“No…” the blonde sat up a little straighter. “What the fuck did you do to them?” he growled, and Sasori went pale.

“Nothing! Well, not intentionally. Just… look, man, I gave you my pot brownies, okay?! I have your shitty-ass bake sale ones here and I’ve eaten five and nothing. So you have to have mine. Just fuckin’ put ‘em away or something!” The other end was silent. “Princess?”

“I’m good, hn.”

“The fuck did you just say?”

“I said I’m good,” Deidara grinned deviously. “They’re excellent, by the way. Worth far more than the dollar we’re charging. Don’t worry, I won’t sell ‘em, hn.”

“Princess, I swear to Jashin if you eat my motherfucking brownies-”

“Too late,” he sang into the phone. He cackled as he hung up on his roommate.

“What did he do to them?” Sasori dared to ask.

“He gave us his ‘special’ brownies by mistake,” Deidara giggled, putting the lid back on the container and moving them off the table.

Sasori laughed. He laughed until tears welled in his eyes. Deidara just sat and watched. He didn’t think Sasori was physically capable of such an extreme, human emotion. It was dumbfounding.

“No more for you, hn,” he teased, taking Sasori’s uneaten second brownie away.

“No take-backs,” Sasori protested, grabbing Deidara by the wrist. Their eyes met, and both students grinned as the same thought passed between them.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Deidara asked.

“If you’re thinking about skipping Studio and getting high on empty calories in the woods, then yes.”

“My _man_.”

* * *

 

“Why are you busting ass this hard for a bake sale?” Yahiko asked, looking over at Konan in the passenger’s seat. “I mean, you made food, then you made _more_ food, and now you’re going to man the table? Isn’t there anyone else who can do this?”

Konan frowned and stared out the window. “I didn’t ask you to drop me off.”

“Nagato, help me out here, man.”

The redhead leaned forward from the backseat. “Konan’s a perfectionist, and you know it. Just let her do her thing, Yahiko. It’s not hurting anybody.”

“It’s hurting her,” Yahiko protested. “Konan, you’re going to run yourself ragged. You’re a double major in what, three honor societies? Nobody can do all that.”

“I can, and I have to,” Konan finally looked at him. “I told you, I’m president of the art honor society. If I don’t make this sale happen, no one else will.”

Nagato reached forward and put a hand on her shoulder. “Which is why we’re here to help, right, Yahiko?”

“Yeah,” Yahiko grinned. “We’ve got your back, babe.”

Konan smiled to herself. She perked up when she saw an open parking spot. “Right there!”

Yahiko pulled the car in and put it in park. Nagato grabbed the bags out of the back seat, and the trio made their way to the table. Konan was surprised to see both Deidara and Sasori at the table; she’d been sure one would murder the other before she took over. It was fairly impressive. “How’s it going?” she asked as she approached them.

“Konan!” Deidara exclaimed with a smile. “It’s going pretty damned good, isn’t it, my man?”

Sasori nodded his agreement. “Sure is.”

Konan froze, studying her classmates with a suspicious eye. Something wasn’t right here. “You’re getting along.” It was a statement rather than a question.

“My man Sasori, here, isn’t too bad once he loosens up,” Deidara assured her.

“And Deidara is tolerable when he doesn’t talk,” Sasori admitted.

“Hey, babe, where do you want these?” Yahiko asked once he and Nagato caught up with the bags. He stepped in front of the table and squatted, arching an eyebrow at the pair. “Pretty ballsy, guys. I mean, as long as you don’t get caught, more power to you. Still, it’s not cool when you’re doing something like this.”

“What are you talking about, Yahiko?” Konan’s voice was dangerously quiet.

“They’re high as shit, babe.”

Deidara and Sasori both lost their composure. The two artists began to laugh uncontrollably, grabbing one another for support. They were completely ignorant of Konan’s icy glare. She clenched her fists and opened her mouth, prepared to give them a lecture they wouldn’t forget.

“I’m gonna kick your ass, Princess!”

Konan turned around to see Hidan running, full-speed, down the walkway. Behind her, Deidara panicked. The blonde leaped out of his seat and jumped over Sasori, shouting “Scatter!” His foot caught Sasori’s thigh, and the pair tumbled onto the brick path. “Run, my man!” Deidara scrambled to his feet and took off toward front campus. Sasori was hot on his heels.

Hidan slowed to a jog before stopping in front of the table. He looked around and found the Tupperware container that he’d given Deidara. It was nearly empty. “Those mother fuckers,” he growled. It was then that he noticed Konan’s astonished look. “Shit,” he mumbled, digging in his pocket. He withdrew a wad of dollar bills. “Here, hot stuff. Just… this never happened, okay?”

Konan barely had enough time to nod before Hidan was gone, shouting obscenities as he chased after Sasori and Deidara. She sat down with a huff, trying to collect herself. Yahiko took the money out of her hands and began to straighten the bills while Nagato set out more of the baked goods.

“We got… seven dollars… and a scratcher for a free ticket?” Yahiko passed Konan the payment. She sighed and put the dollars in the change box, rubbing her temples with her painted fingertips.

Reluctant as she was to admit it, she was finally convinced that Yahiko had a point. “Maybe I do need a break.”


End file.
